bare-voice

That feeling is bad. It went away for a while and i forgot how bad things are. But its back now. That fluttering in my gut that feels like my body is gonna crawl out of my skin.  That sick feeling that nothing can change. I hear him cough and hack and watch him sit there doing nothing. He wears a house coat. I can see his legs. They are getting skinny. He is losing muscle mass and its scary... He is the last person in this world who this should happen too. No one deserves cancer. No one. I spend my days in the basement listening because he doesn't want me to see him like this. I feel useless. I am useless. My body feels like I'm havin

My dad has been thinking of trading the truck in for a car for a while now. We don't use the truck for anything really and he won't put the dogs in it or take it to camp so yesterday he went and traded the truck for a car. I got home from work and when I saw the car my thought wasn't "dad's new car." It was, "mom's new car." So I put my car in the yard next to the new silver one and cried and cried. Not seeing that huge gold truck in the yard made me realize that dad isn't going to be here much longer. I feel sick. Things aren't making any sense to me. I go to the mall and I see the clothes, and toys, and even food. I don't understand

I feel like i'm going crazy. My dad is still my dad! I was so scared yesterday. I was suppose to go out to camp for the day because mom was making a chicken dinner.  So mom and dad came home to pick up the mower and some groceries. So me and mom went out and she was almost in tears, and talking a mile a minute about crying later. Telling me about how they are going to sell the camp and bring the camp cat home and that we can still take the dogs for a walk out on our uncles road. Paying off the bills and they are going to move home when dad gets sick. She is so stressed and panicked and I feel so bad because she has no friends to cry on.  I

My reality is a little fuck up because I was sexually harassed as a kid. It alters your perception of the world around you. Things aren't real until they are gone. I've never wanted to get married and have kids. I can't see myself falling in love with anyone... or rather I can't imagine anyone wanting to fall in love with me.  I don't think to highly of myself but I do consider myself at least worthy of someone's 'one and only'. Its strange... I wish now that I was married and maybe had a child or two... mostly so dad wouldn't be worried about me. I've always been alone.... its all I know really... I can blame mom for being wa

My dad is sick. My head hurts. My face hurts. Everything hurts. I'm not a strong person. I have to be strong now... for him and for mom.... I don't want to be strong. I want to break down and cry and have someone take care of me. I never wanted to grow up. I hate reality. I wanted to be a kid forever. Just me and mom and dad and the pets out on the island just like that forever. I remember when I was little he would pick me up and put me on his shoulders and we would walk around the island. Our bobtail cat Oddie would follow us meowing the whole way. Over the rocks at low tide, through the wood and up the old Indian trail and out o

How do you tell someone that you don’t want to be seen in public with their kid? I have no kids and I have no right to discipline their kids for their actions, but when I am bitten by that kid hard enough to leave a bruise what actions am I allowed to take in self defence? I stopped my hand at his face. I reacted like someone would react like a bug bite or animal bite. The first reaction is to slap it away. Mom told kid to tell me he’s sorry... which he did with a roll of the eyes... did she understand that HE BIT ME! Apparently not... because he had a little rubber bat and was running around under the table pretending he was a

A little useless update on my life. Last time I posted one of these Mom was in the hospital with pains that the doctors couldn’t find a reason for. Turns out she had shingles . But the docs think there might be something else so she is going back this week for more testing.  I feel better but seeing someone you love in that much pain is horrible. In the mean time sense the last little post of mine a few things got done. Helped mom and dad put shingles on the roof. Lol we joke that that was the real reason mom got her shingles in the first place. But I’ll tell ya one thing, don’t let any parental units of your up on the roof

Magic Girl Application Form ~*~*~*~*~*~ Age: Tween years and younger Appearance: Eyes: Large and water easily Hair: Blond preferred but any unnatural color like bright pink and purple will do as well Height:  restricted to shorter than the first leading males height Chest size: Varies from anime to anime, depending on target age. Tweens target range is flat chested, anything older required basketballs to be shoved in bra and individual movement in opposite directions applied. Clothing: Frilly micro mini-skirts, knee high boots, mid drifts, heels, low-cut tops, and/or body suite painted on.  Something with a reference to a schoo